One More Question IV: I Believe I Can Fly
An appreciation and a question: Would Trump voters have grieved if he lost?
If you’re experiencing grief, despair or hopelessness regarding the election results, first, talk to someone. And, if you feel up to it, I want to hear from you. What’s your state of mind today? What’s at the end of the tunnel? Light? Rage? Action? Nothing yet?
I already have a small chorus of voices that have reached out. You can add your anonymous voice at jaredpaventi@gmail.com. Length is up to you.
The context of Michael Jordan’s famous quote that “Republicans buy sneakers too” was never really discussed until The Last Dance documentary debuted on ESPN. It was held out there to validate the “Shut up and dribble” opinion about sports figures discussing politics. It turns out that it was a throwaway line among friends, and it has followed the Greatest Basketball Player Who Ever Lived1 around for decades.
I recognize that not everyone is grieving this election; 75 million people voted for rePresident Trump. They are (likely) happy with this result and have no reason to feel loss. As I mentioned in the footnotes on Friday, I don’t know if Trump voters would have grieved if the tables were turned. I suspect not, as they didn’t the last time. I don’t count rioting as a form of grief, but maybe someone will correct me.
So, I stipulate that the election grief series may not land well with some of Dirt Nap’s readers. To that, I say, “Whatever.” My ambivalence is because I have to deal with the “fuck your feelings” crowd that emerged in 2016 and still parades their bullshit around for everyone2.
But, these people likely know someone who voted differently than them. There’s one of two ways to handle it: like the Watters family, where the Fox News host’s mother uninvited him from Thanksgiving dinner, or by listening and understanding. Marnie Eisenstadt — a friend and must-read — wrote a piece this week for Syracuse.com about the post-election unity found between Trump and Harris voters in the village next to where I live. We can splinter or we can try to live together in some level of harmony. It won’t be easy, that’s for certain.
Scott Janssen has certainly been an invaluable resource to me as I navigate grief topics here at Dirt Nap. I came across him some time ago when writing about how men handle loss and he was generous with both his time and words. Since then, he’s helped me flesh out ideas and has always been there when I ask him to lend his voice to a topic.
We’re going to get to healthy ways of managing election grief soon, but Scott did offer some thoughts that I’ll share now:
I’d caution people about overdoing the news and social media. I guess I don’t need to go into this one. We know it’s addictive and can be harmful psychologically. There have been studies about what happens in your nervous system when you get compulsive about staring at devices. It can dysregulate our nervous systems and keep us in a state of fight-flight-freeze. It’s all designed to get you to keep clicking, not to inform you or help you access your higher self.
Things I’ve Consumed Recently…
Book I’m Reading: Area 51: An Uncensored History of America's Top Secret Military Base by Annie Jacobsen. I highly recommend her book Nuclear War: A Scenario. A good read and potential instruction manual, depending on how things go the next couple of years.
Book I Finally Finished That Redeemed Itself: The Sequel by Jean Hanff Korelitz.
Non-Political Thing(s) I’ve Ingested Recently That Are Worth Sharing:
The News Anchor America Needed (
Finds Out): Connie Chung broke so many ceilings — glass and otherwise — as a journalist, and was a ubiquitous presence in the 1980s. And, like women in the entertainment industry, she was set aside for a younger voice. This is a fascinating interview between her and Pablo Torre.Satire publication The Onion buys Alex Jones’ Infowars at auction with Sandy Hook families’ backing (AP): In the morass of bullshit in the media over the past week, there’s this glint of sunshine.
Fried Chicken and Whiskey: My latest review for Syracuse.com and This is CNY is for The Whiskey Coop, a fried chicken spot in Syracuse’s Armory Square that has more than 200 whiskeys available. You could find worse spots in town to gorge yourself.
Coming Friday…
We go back to pet grief with entries from one of my oldest friends, and one of my sister’s closest friends.
Dirt Nap is the Substack newsletter about death, grief and dying that is written and edited by Jared Paventi. It is free and we simply ask that you subscribe and/or share with others.
We are always looking for contributors and story ideas. Drop a line at jaredpaventi@substack.com.
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LeBron James is not.
Personally, I like to handle those who put FYF stickers on their vehicles either by cutting them off with my car or by passing them and slowing down to an uncomfortably slow speed.